Macie Rides

And, to follow the last post...
A nice little happy post.

One morning in March, we put Macie up on Ephram's dino because she was begging us too.
We weren't sure how well she would be able to sit on it.
She sat perfectly!
And all of us were completely surprised when she started to move.

This started the phase of Ephram trying to coax his baby sister to ride with him.
They love each other so!

Charlie and the Ephram Gate

It was a Friday afternoon.

I, foolishly, had scheduled hair cuts for both of the boys right after Charlie got out of school for the day.

Foolishly?

Yes, three kids in a salon by myself is a bit foolish.

Especially considering the fact that Charlie is autistic and hair cuts are an ordeal for him.

And Ephram is a bit unpredictable of late.

He gets really frustrated when nobody understands what he wants.

He tries and tries to use words, 

But when nobody understands him and they move forward anyway...

It can be a bit of a disaster.

I can't imagine having the language comprehension and the imagination of my 

Three year old boy,

And still be struggling to form many of the basic sounds.

To have an idea that is perfectly reasonable,

To tell Mommy or Daddy about it,

And then to tell them again - 

And again - 

And again - 

And still not be understood.

We're talking about a boy that understands everything he hears,

Recognizes letters,

And many beginning sounds,

And is even starting to spell,

But just can't speak clearly.

So I try to be understanding,

(Patience, Dzana, patience)

And gentle,

But still...

Life must go on, right?

This particular Friday?

It was just sitting there, waiting to explode.

Charlie went first.

While he was getting his hair cut,

Ephram ran out the door,

And into the parking lot,

Three times.

Macie did not go to sleep during her usual nap time.

And uncharacteristically cried,

Pretty much the whole time.

(Two molars were pushing through her gums, poor girl!)

When Charlie was done

(And had finished screaming "You're hurting me!")

It was Ephram's turn.

And Ephram was, at that moment, trying to tell me something.

I did not understand.

I have a ton of tricks for this,

But on this day they all failed.

I tried to get his interest in sitting in one of the special chairs they have.

But he just started screaming,

And then he started crying,

And the hair started flying as he started flailing.

And I had to hold my poor boy still,

With all of my might,

While his hair was cut as quickly as possible.

(Breathe, Dzana, breathe.)

Meanwhile Macie was sobbing and 

Charlie was holding an unusual conversation with the next customer.

That customer was looking at me with a look I could not interpret.

Maybe concern?

Judgement?

Understanding?

Solidarity?

Probably just a hope that her poor one year old, 

(In for her first hair cut)

Would not freak out because of the crazy lady's children.

This, my friends, is one of the days when I wondered:

"What in the H-E-double hockey sticks was I thinking

When I decided to have three kids?"

I would be ashamed to admit this.

Except I know that all mothers secretly feel this way,
Regardless of how many children we have and what challenges we face,

And it doesn't change how much we love or care for our children.

Back in the salon,

Ephram was finally done.

Just as Charlie ran and grabbed a handful of dum dums,

Without asking and before it was time,

And unwrapped one and handed it to my not-yet-one baby,

Ephram threw up.

All over him.

All over the floor.

And all over me.

And then he did it again.

Macie was still sobbing,

As she tried to bite on the lollipop...

Which probably would have soothed her poor gums.

(Quiet voices, Dzana, don't scream.)

But then her mean, mean Mom

Grabbed it away super fast.

And the sob became a wail.

So with one overstimulated and completely crazed seven year old,

One traumatized, shaking and puke-stinky three year old,

And a screaming and spit-up covered baby in a car seat,

I waited forever while my credit card
Did not go through.

It turns out that there was some suspicious activity,

That was the monthly $3 charge that always comes through from Skype,

That I've told my bank about five times...

And so they had put a stop on my card.

(Unclench your fingers, Dzana, relax.)

Thank heaven I carried another card that day.

It finally went through,

I signed the slip as fast as I could,

With the hand that was holding Ephram on my hip.

Somehow I packed all three of my kids back in the car,

Shut the door,

And said a little prayer.

And then I started to drive.

This was almost four months ago.

If you've seen my recent pictures, you may have noticed Ephram's long hair.

You could say I'm a bit traumatized,

And more than a little worried that he may have some PTSD from the experience, too.

That hair cut will have to come eventually.

Soon.

But I'm putting it off until the last possible minute.

Because I can.

Back to our Friday.

I just wanted everyone to be happy.

And it was snack time.

So I drove through McDonald's on the way home

And gave each of my boys a chocolate chip cookie.

Yes, I use food in ways I never planned to.

I'm not ashamed of that either.

And I gave Macie a bottle and she drifted off to sleep.

I may have had a McFlurry.  

(And not the snack sized one.)

When we got home, 

Both of my boys had smiles.

And I thanked God for hearing my prayer.

As I put Macie to sleep upstairs,

My boys were a little sugar crazed downstairs,

And I returned to find them playing a new game.

We call it Ephram Gate.

When Charlie was three, he went through a gate stage.

Well, this is the day that Ephram's began.

He had the most fun blocking Charlie's path

(As Charlie counted 100 times running around our circular downstairs,)

And requiring different things for passage.

Sometimes it was a "credit card" toll,

Sometimes a magic word,

Sometimes a crazy dance.

I kid you not,

They did this for 75 minutes.

They turned my face to a smile, too...
And that headache that had been forming?
Never materialized.

I had never, ever seen them cooperate so well

Or laugh so much.

The rest of our day was - 

Wonderful.

Truly.

I will never forget this day.

Life has taught me a lot lately.

More than I've asked.

And mostly that every time I survive a disaster,

I'm immediately blessed with wonder.

So, bring on the disasters.

(But... Let's keep them manageable and minor, please?  I've had enough seriousness for a few years.  Salon disasters are far preferred to those that involve hospital stays.  Thanks.)

Ephram and the Candy Land

This March, this kid and I decided it was time for him to learn how to play a good, traditional board game.  What better to start with than Candy Land?

We spent a few days learning how to play the game during Macie's naps.  Ephram loved picking out the guys and deciding which color he would be and then suggesting a color for me, too.  He immediately understood what it meant if a card had double colors instead of just one color spot.  And he loved figuring out how to get his guy to the next spot.

(Even if he sometimes seemed to want to jump ahead a few extra spots.  On accident, of course.)

Turn taking was a little difficult, but we overcame that pretty quickly.

Choosing the card from the top of the stack, instead of the middle or the bottom, took a little more time.

So I decided to lay out three cards and let him choose which one he wanted to take.  Right away, he started taking the card that would get him further in the game.

Smart cookie.

With Candy Land, Memory and Cootie... and a few card games too, Ephram and I are starting to get a nice little collection of fun games to play.

And the next week I taught him Chutes and Ladders.

But Candy Land was still his favorite.

Ephram found these pictures on my computer while I was teaching a piano lesson one day.
He really liked them.
I hadn't yet done anything with them, but he knew what he wanted to do.
And since I like his edits, and the fact that they reaffirmed how excited he is about this game,
I kept them.

Love this boy.

Winter Princess

No story.

I just love everything about this.

And nothing more than this girl.

Adopted Plus Three

This March, on 3/3/13, we celebrated three years of adoption.  The way my not-quite-so-little family has come together has happened exactly as it should.  Charlie was meant to be in our family.  He is my oldest, my first son, and has taught me so much about myself and life and love.

Adoption is not easy.  It packs a ton of challenges and questions and doubts.  It means that you invite a whole other family inside of your own.  In a case like ours, adoption can introduce parenting challenges that you didn't even know existed... that most people still don't know exist... and I find myself walking a tightrope between my desire to share our path for education and my need to protect my son's current and future privacy.

Overwhelmingly, adoption is a blessing.  Charlie and his biological sister made me a mom for the very first time.  Because of that my connection to them both will always be strong, and they hold a place inside of me that no other can take.  Sure, it's challenging and there are days that I question my own abilities.  I am grateful for the moments where I can step back, see progress, and trust that this work is important. And have faith that I will be the best mom that I can be to Charlie, and that our future relationship will be positive and strong.

Charlie is a bright kid.  And I don't mean just intellectually.  Charlie's personality is bright too.  He has the best and biggest smiles that literally light up a room.  And my two biological miracles light right up when they see it.  Seeing all three of my children and their mutual love is a sight for which I have yet to find words.

Adoption, more than anything else, brings love.  The opportunity to love another mother's child is probably the greatest gift I have been given.  I look forward to many more adoption anniversaries and the chance to reflect on our family's journey.

Macie at Eleven Months

Hello.  I'm still here.  And I have a thousand blog posts that I need to write to catch up to today.  Well, not really.  (But it will feel like it before I'm done!)  My precious baby girl turned 11 months old nearly 4 months ago.  I think this is the most behind that I've been in her short life.

But I have good reason.  In month 11, Macie started to move.  She started to talk.  She started to morph into toddler-girl.  This pushed out into our family.  We had more independence, more things to see and to do.  We got busy.  Really busy.

So know that, although I have been shamefully absent from my blog... Our lives have been busier than ever.  They've been filled with all of the wonderful moments that a toddler should experience, all of the crazy silly jokes a first grader should tell, family trips and budding traditions.  I've never been able to keep up on this blog, but I'll do my best to catch up as far as I can.  I am fully aware that I indulge in over documentation of our lives.  But I so want to remember it.  I want to remember all of it.  And this is the best way that I know how.

So back to eleven month old Macie Drew.  What a belle!  She is the happiest baby I've ever known.  She grew several laughs, and accompanying smiles that tell you exactly what she thinks.  She finally, finally realized that there was a world to discover by inching around.  She started to use her voice.  She stood.  I am so completely enamored with this baby girl.  And everyone that meets her seemingly is, too.  Ephram as a baby stopped crowds with his piercing blue eyes.  Macie stops them with her smile and her spirit.

Stats:
Chronological Age - 11 Months
Adjusted Age - 9 Months

Weight - 18 pounds, 6 ounces

Milestones:

• Blow kisses (45 weeks)
• First hair clip (45 weeks)
• First time in a toddler swing at the park (45 weeks)
• Starts to creep (46 weeks)
• Moved into crib (47 weeks)
• Figured out how to peek-a-boo (47 weeks)
• Pull to stand from a sit using mommy's hands (48 weeks)
• Speaks first word "puff" (48 weeks)

At 11 months Macie remained in 6-9 month clothes and size 3 diapers.

Feeding:

I continued to pump and was able to give Macie one daily bottle of breastmilk throughout the month.  Her other four bottles were formula.  Macie took five bottles a day, most were 4 ounces with the occasional 6 ounce bottle.

Macie started to eat puffs out of a bowl this month.  She was very proud of her accomplishment.

Solid foods introduced this month include:

• chicken
• whole peas

We did not introduce a lot of foods this month because we were adjusting from the change to formula, working our way through an apparent milk allergy and Macie had two significant colds.

By the end of the month we had weaned Macie completely off of Zantac.

Sleeping:

Macie slept beautifully this month!  She continued to take two naps on most days.  Her morning nap was consistently two hours in length and her afternoon nap varied between two and three hours.  Macie continued to nap in a swing.  The motion and mechanical sound from the swing helps her to stay asleep when the boys are being noisy or there is significant noise outside.

We successfully transitioned Macie to her crib this month!  Overall, it was a breeze.  We even had to interrupt the transition after a few days because she had a really bad cold, and she went right back to the crib when she was healthy... like it was no big deal.  I am so blessed with this baby's sleep habits. 

Macie went to sleep around 8:30 - 9:00pm at night and typically slept through until 8 or 9 in the morning.  She would wake one or two times during the week, but usually went back to sleep without a bottle.

Teething:

Macie cut two more teeth this month, finishing the month out with eight teeth: six on top and two on bottom.

Communicating:

Macie continued to use gestures and body language to communicate with us.  She used a handful of different laughs that were so very cute.  She was an animated and social baby.  She didn't learn any new "real" signs this month, despite my efforts to teach her how to sign mom, more and ball.

But that's okay, because she did start to use words.  Her first word during the last week of this month was puff, followed quickly with milk.

Favorites:

• Playing peek-a-boo
• Playing with brothers... or just watching them be silly
• Spending time with mommy and daddy
• Playing the piano (with hands and feet)
• Using the iPad - she took a self portrait this month!
• Toy: Fisher Price kitchen
• Song: Itsy Bitsy Spider
• Book: Moo, Baa, La La La

Macie is such a happy baby, I really can't think of any Least Favorites to list!

To Their Daddy

Drew,

Seventeen years ago I fell in love with you, practically on sight, for many reasons - the greatest of which was that I could see what a terrifically wonderful father you would be.  Then and now, I see a little spark - even in serious or stressful moments - in the corner of your eye... a constant presence of humor, of childlike wonder at all that is around you.  It's that, my elfish husband, that gives you the advantage, the edge over all the other dads around us.  That's how I knew you were the right person to share all of this with.  And these years have been a journey.  They've changed us individually and they've changed us together.  They've packed wonderful moments, lucky timing, prosperity and some scares and surprises.  And maybe we've seen that spark a little less at times, but it is always there.  And I was right, because you are the best kind of daddy.  You support us, you work hard for us, you are here every day and you have given each of our kids countless magical moments.  They love and admire you, and so do I.

Happy Father's Day.

Love,
Dzana