This year I have noticed many people poking fun at the exercise. That's okay and I do respect and even understand their opinion. I have an opinion too. And one of the great things about Facebook is that you can read and "like" what you enjoy and ignore what you don't.
This is why I do it: Nothing encourages better emotional health for me than the exercise of finding, recognizing and promoting the things I have and giving thanks for them.
Am I grateful the rest of the year? Of course. And I do not believe that doing it this one month is silly. If we did this all year round, it would lose its effect. It is special because it has a beginning and an end. And I look forward to it over the course of the year. I call out what I am thankful for often, but only in November do I find and photograph something every day. This exercise seems to prime my mind for the holiday spirit and magnify the blessings I see and enjoy through the holidays.
Do I think it's silly that lots of people are doing it and recognizing the same blessings in their lives simultaneously? Absolutely not. I believe that we are all reminding each other of what we have. And I don't see how that can harm any of us.
Really, if you think about it, most families did this before Facebook too. How many of us went around the table and said what we were thankful for before we started the dinner? This is just the evolution of that exercise through social media.
This year I am making an effort to recognize the little things. I will still post about my biggest blessings: Andy, Charlie, Ephram and Macie. But I'm intentionally seeking out the little things that we so often let slip by.
So… here it is. My 30 Days of Thanks for 2013:
Day 1: I am grateful for mid-afternoon snuggles with my little snugglebugs. I treasure them knowing these days are likely numbered. I am grateful for the opportunity to hold them close and to help them feel safe and loved.
Day 2: I am grateful that I live in a place where leaves change color and fall from trees. Our front yard was nearly free from leaves yesterday, but this morning's wind storm has colored it in a covering of leaves, sticks and cedar debris. And even if it will be a project to pick it up later, today it is pretty.
Day 3: I am thankful for quiet spaces, inside and outdoors, and the chance moments I get to grab them. This morning I ended up with a surprise 30 minute window all by myself with this trail and my camera. The sun even came out briefly. I felt totally reset.
Day 4: I am grateful for hair bows, flowers, shoe obsessions, doll houses and every other thing I get to enjoy with a little girl in the house.
Day 5: So grateful to have a daily reminder not to take life too seriously. My little Luke and Leia were on a mission to "get the bad guys" today and asked me to join them. I did.
Day 6: I am grateful for the piano and its music in my life. For the teachers who taught me how to play it and other instruments, too. I'm grateful that my parents gave me access to great musical training when I was young. Playing the piano keeps me happy and sane. I'm also grateful for this beautiful arrangement of my very favorite Christmas song. A post about music seemed to call for more than a still picture.
Day 7: I am grateful for books. And my Kindle. Stories give me other lives to imagine, an escape from my own worries. In tales I find humor, fear, sadness, excitement and ideas for my own life. I love the accessibility to stories I enjoy through my Kindle. Now if only someone would invent or magic a way for me to have more reading time. It's a good thing that all three of my children love books too, more reading time for me!
Day 8: I am grateful for lovely puffy cloud days.
Day 9: I am grateful for my husband. We were moving in parallel until our lives intersected almost 18 years ago, and since that day, my life has been better. We've been through a lot and have more to see. I am glad to have such a thoughtful, interesting, introspective, kind, funny and cute man to live with and raise children with.
Day 10: I am grateful for apple pie.
Day 11: I am grateful for late afternoon, colorful autumn walks with my children.
Day 12: I am so grateful for The Zones of Regulation curriculum and for the people that introduced it to us. The Zones have done so much to improve the intensity and duration of Charlie's deregulated moments, while allowing me to separate my personal feelings from the episodes. Life Changing.
Day 14: today I am grateful for some new mommy friends and the fun relationships that are developing between our children. It is so nice to see my timid one comfortable and open among friends. I love that they all giggle, jump and cheer upon sight of another and are able to play with virtually no conflict. And I live how that allows three mommies to accomplish an entire project in the middle of the day, while the kids play. So fortunate are we.
Day 15: today I am grateful for natural talents and the fact that we all have them to discover. There's not much better than watching your child find theirs and the joy they get through using them. This one has recently discovered that his monkey abilities are a perfect match with gymnastics.
Day 16: I am grateful that Wells Fargo opened a branch inside the Safeway two miles from my house. Finally, less than a 15 minute drive to get to my bank!
Day 17: Today I am grateful for having experienced the miracle that was the beginning of my baby girl's life. For all of the scary parts, there were a hundred times light parts. I hope to always carry with me the memory of feeling carried along on the weight of others' compassion, learning how to let go and trust in His wisdom and ways completely, walking the halls of that NICU and feeling the strength flowing to and from those babies as they fought to live, humbly accepting that I had the power to love and root for my baby despite my fears of loss, and seeing just how strong a 3 pound 14 ounce person could be. I lived after Macie was born and she did too. I learned that life is full of mercy and have made a continual effort to discover it every single day. I am so grateful for my daughter and all of the lessons I learn in parenting her.
Day 18: I am grateful for tissues. Without them my life as a mom would either be a lot more messy or filled with even more laundry.
Day 19: I am grateful for my Dad, who celebrated another birthday on the 19th. (As did my brother.) I know I am lucky to have such an amazing dad and that is never more apparent then when I see him with my children. This past year we got to see him four times in just over six months. My kids love their grandpa!
Day 20: I am grateful that my children are thoughtful and eager to help. I asked the littles to eat neatly today, adding that mommy didn't feel like sweeping because she's feeling sick today. As soon as they were done, after both eating as neat as can be expected, they hopped down and grabbed brooms to help me out. I'm a lucky mom. So what if they spread the little crumbs everywhere? It truly is the thought that counts.
Day 21: I am grateful for both Smith Brothers Farms, who delivers our milk weekly, and Schwans, who helps stock our freezer with meals each month. My family with three small children consumes a LOT of milk, and I also often have limited meal preparation time. I especially appreciate their delivery services in a week like this one where I feel to sick to go to the store, let alone take sick children with me, in the freezing cold.
Day 23: Today I am grateful for adoption. Six years ago, we were a couple deemed infertile but believed we were destined for parenthood. We started the adoption process just a couple of months after Charlie was born. Circumstance and fate brought Charlie and his sister into our family through the foster care program in March 2008. I will never forget sitting in the courtroom and taking the picture at top right in March 2010. In mere minutes, while my two month old baby slept in his stroller, Charlie had a new name and I was officially his Mom, Andy his Dad. This miracle is just as important as the ones that brought my two babies. Charlie needed a family, and so did we. Together, we've made one. Parenting hurt children is intense in its demands and in its rewards. When I feel spent and it seems to hard to push forward, I remind myself that adoption gave me the chance to parent in the first place and gave Charlie a strong (I hope) family. We are all lucky, truly.
Day 24: I am grateful for Christmas decorations and the feeling they inspire. I was so happy as I rounded the corner onto my street tonight and four houses stood there, flashing their joy at me. At literally the darkest time of the year, these outward displays help me keep my energy. I can't wait to put up the rest of Christmas next week!
Day 25: I am grateful for Charlie's therapy. The therapist we started working with in July has helped us accomplish more in the last four months than we have been able to do in the past four years. Our journey has just begun, but Andy and I feel like we have control of our family again. I strongly recommend The Nurtured Heart approach, especially for children that have attachment disorders.
Day 26: I am grateful for laughter and the three little clowns that fill my house up with giggles.
Kovar Kids Laugh
Day 27: I am grateful for Ephram, the greatest surprise there ever was ... And probably the best there ever will be. Finding out you're pregnant when you're 11 weeks along is enough of a surprise, more so after 10 years of fertility struggles and at a time when you've moved on. My Little Bit is everything I ever thought having a baby would be, and so much more. I am thankful that he joined us and blessed to he in his world. He is another daily reminder of what comes from patience, grace and a little magic.
Day 28: I am grateful for an excellent meal shared with some of our most cherished Washington friends, and some new friends too! I am so thankful to have friends that feel like family in our adopted state.
Day 29: I am grateful for new family traditions. It seems like we add some every year. This year we started a new Thanksgiving Eve tradition of sharing a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving holiday, complete with the thanksgiving meal they prepare of popcorn, pretzels, buttered toast and jelly beans.
Day 30: I am grateful for this annual reminder to seek out what we have instead of what we have not, to appreciate everything around us and to think about how our blessings are received. This is my fourth year participating in the November Thankful movement, which I see as an extension of the old tradition of going around the table prior to the meal. I always exit November a happy and peaceful person, which is the best way to enjoy the Christmas season. Of course I'm thankful in other months and this one month exercise generally affects my attitude all year. So long November, and thank you for the reminder to seek positivity and recognize all I've been given.
