A New Year, A New School

Charlie is attending a new school this year.
We are very fortunate.
His autism diagnosis was finalized at last three weeks before school ended last year.
His old school rushed through the requirements in order for Charlie to be eligible for a new program.
This year the school that is next closest to us started a special program for kids on the autism spectrum.
It is called Connections and it allows Charlie to remain mainstreamed but receive excellent support.

So this year he has two teachers and two classrooms.
Ms. McCormack is his first grade teacher.  He spends most of his day there.
Ms. Dickison is his Connections teacher.  He starts and ends his day in the Connections classroom.
He also goes to Connections daily for 30 minutes for "club".
In club they work on social skills, Superflex and language skills... as well as other things.
Additionally, Charlie can go to "home base" in the Connections room when he needs to regroup during the day.
He can eat his lunch there, do recess there, and go there instead of attending music/PE if those classes are too sensorily overwhelming.
Of immense importance is the fact that "home base" is a productive place.
When he is there, he is always working on something.
It may be school work, it may be social skills, it may be coping skills...
But, he is always working on something.

The Connections program provides a teacher and two aides.
Charlie has 1000 times more support this year than last.
As of two weeks ago, he also finally has an official IEP.
And while we still struggle in various ways,
I have hope -
Much more hope than I did last year -
That school can be a productive and positive place for my eldest son.
Who is so, so loving, eager, bright and intellectually capable.
(And so distractible, impulsive and disruptive in comparison to his peers.)

We were so excited to be included in the Connections program during its first year at this school.
And even more excited when we learned that the program was to be located at Little Cedars.
Little Cedars is the newest elementary school in our district.
It is less than two miles away from our home.
It is a large school with excellent resources and fantastic administration.
As a parent, it seemed that everything was aligned perfectly.

Charlie had some trepidation, however.
He liked his old school and wanted to continue to be a Raven.
So we signed up to attend the family orientation at the new school in August.
Ten minutes in, Charlie saw one of his best friends from his old school.
He instantly warmed up.
Ms. Dickison even made a special trip to the school that day to meet him.
By the time we left, he was more than eager to become a Wolverine.

As I write this, school has been in session for just under two months.
But I feel confident in saying that this school and this program are already, and will continue to be, a huge blessing for our family.

Unexpected

We just got back from a fabulous vacation to Southern California.
Eventually I'll blog about the whole thing...
But for now I'm skipping to the present.

Yesterday I was unpacking.
Overwhelmed, I realized that I needed a place to make stacks of our belongings.
My eyes turned to our kitchen counter -
Which was completely covered in other stuff.
So I set about clearing off that counter.

Just before we left our home for the airport, I'd packed my backpack.
When I'd opened it, I realized that it was full of the things that I had packed the last time.
The time that I left my house for an undetermined amount of time in the hospital.
I hastily grabbed those things out of the backpack and left them in a stack
On the kitchen counter.
The items needed for this trip were thrown in,
And out the door we ran.

Last night I reached this stack from my backpack,
Innocently sitting in the middle of my counter,
And I saw these two little teeny tiny beanie babies.
I was hit.
With one of the biggest breakdowns I've had since Macie's birth.
Just like that.
So unexpected.

These little things -
The little monkey,
The little lobster -
Were used for at least an hour, three times a day, every day of my hospital stay.
That was the amount of time that my doctors prescribed for Macie to be monitored.
As I fought against a cruel set of circumstance,
And tried to keep her growing inside.

Macie was so small still, and so was my belly.
The monitors would not stay put on their own,
And they also had a hard time picking up Macie's movement.
So these little things -
The little monkey,
The little lobster -
Were used to put additional pressure on the monitor so that the test would work.

When I saw them last night,
The memory flooded in.
Sitting in that bed.
Trying to relax,
To pass the time with books, iPad, playing cards and phone calls.
Listening for her movement.
Listening to her heartbeat.
Hoping for accelerations.
Hearing over, and over, and over
That she wasn't having the accelerations they'd like to see.
But she was passing by the skin of her teeth.

As a parent,
"Passing by the skin of her teeth,"
Is the opposite of reassuring.
It's like when you have something tested at the doctor,
Like a thyroid,
And when the results come back normal you want to relax.
And then you realize that you are just a little point away from being outside of the normal range.
"Passing by the skin of her teeth"
Made me think that she needed more attention,
And worry that she wouldn't get it because she had just barely passed.

I remember when they decided that I had to have the baby that day,
As soon as possible,
The nurse came in and asked me if I wanted to be put on the monitor.
I did, so very much.
I wanted to listen to my baby's heart,
To believe it was strong,
And knowing that I wouldn't ever hear it like that again.
Even though I should have had seven more weeks to enjoy it.
Realizing that the sound of my heart was about to be taken from her.
Seven weeks before nature intended.
Because of a condition that nobody can control.
So unexpected.

I will always be a little sad that this pregnancy ended early.
Sometimes I will be very sad, as I was last night.
I do not deny that the experience brought at least as much blessing as it did pain.
And I would not trade a day I have had with my Macie now.
But I will also allow myself to feel sad when it hits.

I threw away almost every thing that I had in that backpack.
But these little things -
The little monkey,
The little lobster -
I kept.

The Pros and Cons of a Helmet

The Pros:
It is cute in its own way.
It makes a great battering ram if you're a toddler.
It keeps your head safe.

The Cons:
It makes your head so big that you can't fit in certain small areas, like in climbing.
It is hard enough to fasten that you need a mommy or daddy to help you get it off.
It makes your head really, really hot and sweaty.

The Solution to Sweaty Head:
Run in, yell "Ma, Ma, Ma" until she takes your helmet off and then book it over to a vent.  Place your head right over the top so that the cool air cools you right down.

Future Student

When we bought school supplies for Charlie this year, Ephram fixated on this backpack.  We decided that he was ready for his first very own official backpack.  (Previously he had used some of Charlie's old ones.)  Ephram was so excited about it.  For the next couple of weeks, he wore the backpack all over the house.  He filled it up with as many books as he could, and would march around with it.  It's hard for me to believe that next year he will be old enough for preschool!

Sweet Charlie

Before Charlie, I had a completely different picture of autism in my head.
The Rain Man, totally self-absorbed and unaware of anyone else picture of autism.

Since Charlie, I have learned that autism doesn't have one picture.
It doesn't have two,
Three,
Ten,
Or one hundred.

Autism looks different for every child.
When you've seen one person with autism,
You've seen just one picture.
But autism itself has an endless number of presentations.

So, my Charlie, it is true that he lives inside his self more than your typical kid.
But it is not true that he is unaware of others.
To the contrary,
Others are a constant puzzle to Charlie.
He wants to make them happy -
He likes to see those smiles
To hear those laughs -
He just doesn't always know how to do it.

So, when he finds something that works,
You better believe he is going to do it over,
And over,
And over.

For days,
Weeks,
Months,
And sometimes years.

This year, Charlie learned about the power of a note.
A simple string of words to make a person feel good.
And now we find them everywhere.

Sure, it may be a fixation.
But this is one fixation that I find endearing and have no intention of quashing.

Gadget Boy

More often then not, if you see Ephram, you see Ephram using some form of a gadget.
He is definitely completely his father's son.

Of late he has really taken to tablets.
We have three, so there are plenty of opportunities for him.
He can do things with those tablets that neither Andy nor I knew possible.
He's taught us several shortcuts, which I sure appreciate.

And now he is even starting to teach Macie!

Good Morning

Ephram really enjoys the freedom he has now that he is in a big boy bed and doesn't have to wait for someone else to get him out in the morning.  He usually picks something to wander downstairs with.  For several mornings he came down like this... Everything you need to start your day:

• One night of good rest.
• One messy bed head.
• A cup of water
• A good book (Watership Down)

Can't help but love this kid!