Confession: I have been near terrified of putting Charlie in team sports for years now. We have done so many activities, and time after time we have been asked to take a "break" because Charlie proves to be too big of a distraction for other kids. Surely, team sports would be the disaster to end all other disasters.
Here's a thing you should know about Charlie. He's a pleaser. It's not what my preconceived idea of autism was. I assumed that an autistic child focused only inward, was unaware of the social scene around him. Charlie is somewhat aware of the social scene around him. And when he is 1:1 with someone, especially an adult, he is concerned about how that person feels and how his actions affect them. But, in a group setting it is like he gets overwhelmed. And he shuts down. This can manifest itself in several ways. Most often he stops listening - to the coach, to the parents, to the other children. About half of the time he will just refuse to participate in anything. In a new twist on this behavior, he can become aggressive and he truly doesn't hear other children asking him to stop. I know that he does not want to be hurtful, it is obvious to me that he doesn't know what he is doing. But that doesn't make it any less important for me to manage (or any less embarrassing.)
So I was really nervous about team sports. But I received encouragement from the nurse at the autism center and his therapist to try it out. So, when I saw the sign for Indoor Soccer at our Y, I fought back my nerves and signed him up. Charlie really had no idea what soccer was, but I still told him about it and tried to get him excited for it. We practiced kicking the ball around and watched some YouTube videos about the basic rules. Still, when it came time to start, Charlie was clueless.
I held my breath during that first practice. But I was happily surprised when Charlie followed the coach's instructions about 1/2 of the time. We went to the first game, and spent most of the time encouraging Charlie to just watch the ball.
But then a miraculous thing happened. Charlie was put in as goalie at the second game. He was a natural. And he loved it. Suddenly soccer was important to him. He started paying attention at the practices. Skirmishes with teammates were almost nonexistent. He was listening to the instructions and actually attempting the drill. By the end of the season, his goalie skills were better - and he was actually running after the ball and staying on his half of the court.
The true miracle was his coach. Charlie could not have had a better, more patient man work with him. I am so grateful for volunteers that can help my son learn how to take instruction and behave appropriately in a group. Sometimes reinforcement outside of the parents is needed to drive an idea home. Charlie's coach and soccer came at a perfect time in his sensory therapy. Because of the work that we had already done, Charlie was able to use coping techniques to get him to a point where he could be receptive to the coaching.
At the end of season party, Charlie's coach recognized him as one of two most improved players and the best goalie on the team. He told a story about a game where Charlie played goalie. There was a tall kid on the other team that would stand right in front of him as he was getting ready to throw the ball. Charlie would try to find a place to throw it on either side. After a couple of times, he decided to throw the ball right at the other kid. After that time, the kid gave some space to the goalies for the rest of the game!
Soccer was a huge success, a surprise success. And we will be playing outdoor soccer this fall!
Goalie Time
Team and Coach Time
Running and Kicking (Sometimes)
End of the Season Party
