When Ephram was a week old and I was struggling with astronomical blood pressure while my mom was here to help, my mom insisted that I get one night with real sleep. So my mom and Andy took care of Ephram from 10pm that night until 4am. I was happy for the sleep. I needed it, truly, and it definitely marked a turnaround of my condition. But it felt really weird to be away from Ephram. Not to have him right by me felt a little wrong. At the time I remember thinking that it was odd how quickly I had become attached to him. The next night I was happy to be awake every hour again.
Since then, I hadn't left Ephram. Yes, I'd gone upstairs while he was downstairs with Andy... but that was about it. I definitely got used to having him within reach. And I didn't feel the need or urge to get away from him ever. I was happily obsessed with my cute baby.
This past Saturday Charlie attended a birthday party. Andy didn't know how to get to the house, and I didn't really know how to explain it, so it fell on me to take Charlie. That morning nothing went as it should. Ephram wouldn't eat when I wanted him to, which put everything else behind. Suddenly it was time to go and I didn't have Ephram dressed yet.
"You can take Charlie and I can stay here with Ephram."
Have Andy stay with Ephram, alone, while I take Charlie to the party? I actually had to think about it for awhile, and then I realized that there was no reason that I needed to keep Ephram glued to my hip that morning. Charlie and I walked out the door.
Without a diaper bag. No stroller. No car seat. No crying baby who is angry that he is no longer being held by a warm mommy.
It felt nice.
I dropped Charlie off at the party and then decided to head to the grocery store. I got home about 40 minutes later with our groceries and was welcomed by a hungry baby. So I fed Ephram and then took off to pick Charlie up from the party. Alone again. All together I probably had about an hour and a half without Ephram that day.
I could get used to it.
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