Last year the kids moved in the week of our school's spring break, so Lynnae was literally the last new kid in the school for the year. She had a good teacher and made some friends, but didn't really have the opportunity to form fantastic bonds or become involved in activities with only two months left in the school year. This summer was a little lonely for her, and I think she was very nervous about what the new school year would bring.
That's not to say that she didn't enjoy last year... in fact, she had a lot of fun. She was just the new kid, and that is a difficult thing to be. I have a really cute picture on my cell phone from the last day of school. They had a western-themed parade that morning, so we had her hair in pigtails and a bandana for her head. (They told us the day before, so that was what I was able to pull off!)
The way our school does classroom placement is very blind... and a little nerve-wracking, if you ask me. A month before the school year ended, I received a "placement letter," that asked me to identify my child's needs. It also informed me that no requests could be made, and that the placement decisions wouldn't be announced until the week before school started. I talked to a couple of the other parents about it, because it seemed awkward to me, and they said that the school is very strict about it... and that they announce it so late because it minimizes the complaining. Interesting. So, I filled out the letter with what I knew about Lynnae at the time - which wasn't much, given I'd known her for less than two months. My one request was for a structured classroom. All summer we waited to find out what teacher she would have.
Uncertainty is very hard for children with her background - so it made me feel bad for her that we couldn't even talk about what her teacher's name would be... I think that's why it bothered me so much. For Lynnae to be comfortable, we have to gradually talk about things over a period of time and introduce details, so that by the time they happen it just seems natural. For instance, she has started ballet classes. I worked up to it for two months - first, "what would you think about dancing?" Then, "I think ballet would be really cool, what do you think?" Then, "What do you think you'll wear to ballet class?" And on and on until we are talking about where her school is located. By the time she started ballet, she thought it was her idea, and was super-psyched and prepared for day one. But with the new school year, all I could talk about was the fact that it would be third grade, that they would learn cursive and how to multiply. That is not enough.
So the day of the ice cream social finally arrived. (That is when all the kids come to the school, eat ice cream, and meet their new teachers.) Lynnae was very hyper and nervous all day... and as we were walking to the school she seemed like she might get sick. Then, just before we reached the teacher list, she ran into one of her friends (Jennifer) from last year. We looked at the list together and found out that they were in the same class. They started jumping up and down and hugging, and then they started running into everyone else from last year. Every trace of nervousness seemed to be gone as we walked up to her new teacher, Ms. Stewart. And then Ms. Stewart asked her if she was excited for third grade... and what did our Lynnae do? She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head back and forth slowly. (Great first impression, huh?) But the teacher handled it well and Lynnae was more excited a couple of minutes later. She and Jennifer ran up to the classroom to take a peek... and I'll be able to post that picture after the adoption is final!
Less than a week later it was time to wake up at 7:00 and get ready for school. She was sooooooo nervous the day before, that she acted out and got into a bit of trouble. And I, again, worried that she might get sick on the walk to school. She was really excited about her first day of school outfit though. I let her buy a dress and new shoes for the occasion - she certainly loves dressing up.
When we headed down the cul-de-sac and onto the main road, we ran into another family that lives opposite our house in a facing cul-de-sac. They happen to be a foster-adopt family as well that have four children, three that have already been adopted. One of their little girls is just a year behind Lynnae in school. We walked with them the 8 minutes that it takes to get to the school, and Lynnae was chatting the whole way. The nervousness was gone by the time we got there. It was such a marked change for me that I pulled out my phone to take another picture. There is a big difference between the one I took at home, and the picture at the school - she was clearly more calm once we got there.
We walked through the front doors and into the classroom, and looked for Lynnae's desk. Unfortunately, the teacher had forgotten that she goes by a different name, so her desk tag said "Larenmie." Lynnae didn't like that at all and looked very scared, so I explained that it was an honest mistake and that we could get it fixed... but there were so many parents and so much commotion, that I couldn't get the teacher's attention before it was time for class to start. We got her desk settled, and saw that she was sitting next to two of her favorite people from last year... and then she started to settle down. However, when I said goodbye, she looked a bit nervous again. I gave her a big smile and told her I'd see her at 3, and walked out.
I'd be lying if I didn't admit that it was an awesome day for me. I had six hours with just Charlie. I hadn't realized how little uninterrupted attention he received all summer... and when he had his nap, I actually was ALONE!!! It was heaven. And when I picked her up at the end of the day, she was in a terrific mood and didn't stop talking about school for a couple of hours. The mood continued through the rest of the week, and I already love her new teacher. We've also walked every day with the other foster-adopt family, and she's forming a pretty good friendship there. (The mom and I have been talking off and on all summer... she's very nice, and has been very helpful!)
Hopefully third grade will be a good year for Lynnae. Last year she was at a disadvantage, if for no other reason than the fact that she attended three schools in one year. This year she will get to stay at the same school, she does have a structured classroom, and she has advanced in her reading skills over the summer.... and most important, she clearly has a lot more confidence than she did in second grade. I am excited to see what this year brings!
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